Article 1....part one
TOWARD A SELF-TALK MANUAL FOR COACHES AND COACHEES
Both Coaches and their clients need to do some healthy self-talking each day. I discovered the general value of self-talk as a girl going to school and preparing for examinations. I confirmed the psychological and philosophical values of this as an adult. Now as a coach years later, the first page I envisioned for my website was titled: Self-Coaching Tips. The idea sprung out of me automatically. This is not contrary to our coaching template, since we do indeed insist that the client is wholesome, resourceful and knows best.
Self-talk is a necessary component of self-management and self-management is a necessary component of being a coach and of being a coaching client. The coach has to manage emotions, feelings, reactions, pattern of speech, pace of speech and the relationship between herself and each individual client or group of clients. The coachee has to self-manage the boundaries between himself and his coach, his choice of agendas and his accountability for actions taken as a result of coaching. Let’s look further at each side of the coin, for the Coach and for the client and then I will share a helping tool for reminding you if you have missed your daily dose of self-talk. Now remember, if you talk out loud in the presence of others, it’s called madness. I have done it that way myself all my life.
I am also a believer in the Habbukuk advice – writing it and making it plain – whatever your thoughts, objectives, goals and visions are. So combining both you have a powerful tool for influencing your mind to influence your brain to influence your actions and outcomes.
Sometimes I write and self-talk and when the outcomes happen and I look back I am not sure whether I am looking at a record of what happened or my projection of what I wanted to happen. They could be one and the same anyway. So be careful to date your written-talk, since you can’t depend on your memory to do that. As a coach you can self-talk a number of things, of course with a good dose of imagination, as well as of spiritual vibrations, which we will not get into now.
1. your first coaching session ( for new coaches)
2. your first big-paying client encounter when you ask for the fees you deserve
3. your first group coaching session in the library hall
4. your next bridgeline session when 100 persons have signed up
5. your next meeting with that Executive who is skeptical about coaching
In your self-talk and imagining you already have the positive results under your belt, so why would you go back over it and re-hash fear and doubt? If you are tempted to do that, rehearse the scenes again as if in replay or ask your own coach to walk you through it the way you saw it all playing out.
For the Coaching Client
Overcome your fear and self-judgment by mentally rehearsing and then airing the scenario you feel so ‘weak’ about, with your coach
• the truth about why you don’t want to change jobs
• what you will really say at your next job interview
• the steps you know you must take to get your business started in six months
• how you will begin to behave to manage conflict in your office
• how you will plan and stick to your plans to save money
(c)copyright 2009 Hyacinth E. Gooden-Bailey & Sapience Coaching
CHECK BACK FOR PART TWO...AND WELCOME TO POST COMMENTS
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